What about the situation where you don’t sense they are a bad person? What when you are dealing with someone who just has no boundaries, and you sense no danger? The Co-Worker who gives you unwanted backrubs? The close friend sharing your personal business with others? The stranger offending you with dreadful halitosis (terrible bad breath)?
Being assertive with someone you sense means harm is easier than being assertive with people who are encroaching on your boundaries without the element of danger, but there are techniques you can use with the both scenarios.
Empowered teaches body language, “3 Steps to Assertiveness” and other techniques to deal with these non-threatening situations, as well as threatening situations. We believe that self-defense consists of so much more than knowing how to fight, or learning martial arts. Knowing how to avoid the fight, and call people out on their rudeness is more powerful. Clear communication is Powerful!
Use the 3 Steps: “You’re standing too close to me, and it makes me uncomfortable. Please give me some space.” (1. Name the Behavior, 2. Tell how it affects You, 3.Tell them what to do).
Use body language (turning away, tilting chin, physical distance) and the Universal Stop Sign where you create space by holding your hands up in a “stop” position.
What ever you do, being uncomfortable with someone is something that I don’t believe we need to do, yet many of us endure simple situations to avoid the momentary discomfort of taking action to disengage or even offend the person who is offending us- whether it’s with bad breath, poor humor, or lack of boundaries. It feels uncomfortable in the moment, but in that moment, you are demanding respect, and people will generally appreciate that about you, and you can enjoy the the relief and peace you win from it.
To learn more, schedule an Empowered Workshop at your office, church, or association! Call 503-764-5013 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org for more info and to set it up.